bursting surprise

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#297 - delirious
08/09/2002 @ 11:38 am

It would appear that no matter how happy I am, I'm still gonna have nightmares. I had the hardest time falling asleep last night, between leg cramps and stupid moth balls I decided to install yesterday. And when I did sleep, I dreamed about my family. I dreamed that my work's landlord was my mother's landlord, and he was really pissed at her for something, and was going to evict her on the spot.

I told everyone to shut up and stop fighting, and step forward and begged him not to do it. Because the kids wouldn't have anywhere to go. I told him to please not evict them if my mother and father promised never to visit, then I would live with my brothers & sister until my mom could find a new place for them. He agreed, and then I realized what a terrible thing I'd done. I didn't want to live in this Podunk town without my husband for 3 months while my mother tried to find a new place! Eek!

But at least I went to bed happy. And woke up happy and ready for the day, despite not getting alot of sleep. Because I have a new best friend! She is amazing!

It's going to be weird at first, because she knows about this diary. I told her about it last night. Eventually, I'll get over it, and not think about her when I write my entries, but for now I'm just so anxious and nervous and excited!

I met AJ at the beginning of the year on Neopets. We hit it off because we were the only adults in our guild. Later, we went off to form our own guild together, and have been getting to be better and better friends since then, helped alot by chats on the Palace. Does anyone do that? It's pretty fun, because you can choose an avatar that fits your mood and can be animated. So it's slightly more interactive and fun than a regular messenger program.

Anyway, we haven't talked in awhile, and I was beginning to wonder why when AJ posted a message to the guild that she was really sick. This girl! The stuff wrong with her!!! She went to the hospital, and should be having surgery sometime in September or October.

But last night, I got home from a shopping spree (new clothes, yippie!!!!), and was checking up on my neopets, when I saw a note from her. So I popped onto MSNIM and she was actually online. And we chatted for the next 3 hours or so!!!

It was so strange, the way it happened. She revealed a secret about herself, so I revealed a secret about myself, then we kept revealing more secrets. And each time, we come to find out how similar our secrets are! I was afraid like I am in every other situation, that my secret self and my past are too bizarre to reveal to anyone, and I didn't want to scare her off. And this whole time she's been thinking the SAME THING!!!

Now I know what Gwen must have felt like when she met her internet twin. At least I imagine that's what it was like. Gwen hasn't really mentioned exactly why she thinks Dana is her twin, now that I think of it.

I told AJ she is like the Ultra-me. Where I have depression and take 1 med for it, she has a myriad of problems she sees as therapist for, and I think 5 different meds. And when I revealed I was bisexual, she revealed that she was too, and has dated numerous women! And she was abused when she was younger. And she's married. And she's cheated on her husband, but has stuck by him because fate has commanded it.

I told her she is the most fated person I know. Her life should be a TV movie. Or a freakin' mini-series.

And despite all her ups and downs, she's quite happily married with 2 children, just a smidgen more than a year younger than me. Kinda like me: happily married despite all the shit that life has dished out. Except without kids. See? She's the Ultra-Me!!! I mean, she had pink hair and pegged her jeans and wore converse! I pegged my jeans and wore all-stars, but didn't have the guts to dye my hair! Well, except black, which wasn't THAT dramatic.

So we talked about families and our stupid failed internet romances and junior high fashion and about a million other things that we have in common.

It is just crazy. And I am so fucking thrilled. We talked about slumber parties, and that I really miss them. Now I miss them more, because I can't have a slumber party with her!!! She is all the way on the other side of the country! Argh!!!

But I am so fucking ecstatic. Happy. Silly. Giddy. It's kinda like falling in love. In fact, I can't help but notice the similarities between last night and what happened between me and R. Except that me and AJ have known each other for awhile, and I trusted her before this, and I know she's not out to get into my pants.

So I trust her. And she trusts me. And right there, that's a world of difference between her and R. Then there's the fact that he was male and a poo. Grr on boys! Grr!!!

And hopefully you guys can all meet her soon. When I told her about my diary, she thought it sounded like a great idea for her to get one too. I couldn't agree more. Writing down all the stuff that's happened to me has been so therapeutic. I told her she didn't have to tell me her diaryland screenname right away. I think it's important that it be completely just for herself at the beginning, like it was for me. It's easier to reveal the really dark stuff that way, to be completely honest. Although, we don't seem to be having any problems with that! hehe

Anyway, she's gonna keep her diary private for awhile, which I think is good. But you guys know that as soon as she lets me know, it's going on my favorites list, and I'll have a new diaryland buddy to dish with! Yay! Just like Gwen and Dana or Ursa and Greengrl.

I'm so happy!!!!! "I'm as happy as a little girl!"