Saturday evening I got dressed up and we went to dinner at Sahib. I loooooooooove Sahib. After many failed attempts to find yummie Indian food close to home, I about died from yumminess! Nothing but Edmonds from now on!!!!

Then we went home to change and went out again to go see Brotherhood of the Wolf. Wow. Can't believe we went to see a movie we knew nothing about, simply based on the cool trailer! But we did. It was worth it. The cinematography was gorgeous, the fight scenes way complex. I hated the editing. The film editing cut up the fight scenes in such a way that it was confusing for me to figure out what had just happened. And the sound editing gave me a fucking headache. The theater had the volume up REALLY LOUD. Which would have been ok, except that the director or whoever decided that for emphasis, he would make all the special affects as loud, if not louder, than any dialog or soundtrack. They *really* liked to throw people into mud puddles, and slow it down to focus on the little drops flying everywhere. Looked cool, but blew out your fucking ear drums!!!

Anyway, there were lots of gorgeous things to look at. The costumes, the cinematography, the beautiful people. So I really enjoyed myself. Until the part based on actual events ended, and the wrap up of what the writer invented as an explanation began. Holy Fucking God. It suddenly turned into the most bizarre movie I've seen in... forever! I won't blow it for you, but it was pretty fucked up.

Yesterday was Sunday, a nice mellow day. We went down to Southcenter to find a leather jacket for Sweetie. We found a really nice one for a really cool price at a small, word-of-mouth-advertised shop. He looks pretty spiffy in it. And out of it, he's looking sexier than ever. All weekened I was cursing my fucking period. Dammit...

After the retail excursion, we went to brunch at a restaurant we'd never tried, and were pleasantly surprised. We're late risers on the weekend who love to eat breakfast, so we're always looking for good places to eat that serve breakfast after noon on the weekend! This one made my list!

Then we went to the aquarium. I love the Seattle Aquarium. We tried to get married there, but I wanted the ceremony & party @ one place, and their ceremony room was UGLY. *soo* desperately wanted to get married in the underwater dome, but it's too small for all the people we wanted, and you couldn't have any music in there, so we ended up at the Space Needle, which was quite beautiful, so it made up for not having nifty fishes swimming about.

Anyway, spent time communing with the fishies in the dome. I love that dome. I could spend hours there. Instead, we moved on to watch the seals & sea otters play. The sea otters are always fun to watch. All 4 of them were giving themselves baths, rubbing themselves & itching as they swam in circles, sometimes flipping over & over & over in the water. They're so cute!!! After the aquarium, we snooped around the waterfront for a little while, but not for long, because it was fucking freezing yesterday! Still no snow though. :(

Last night we took Delfino's Chicago-style pizza over to JP & SL's & played games with them & I got a birthday journal & we got a video game for Christmas from them. And they made me cupcakes. And I sucked at Scattegories after slaughtering the competition over Christmas break. Oh well.

And that was the end of the birthday festivities. So far. Actually, sweetie woke me up to leave this morning and told me Happy Birthday. And I'm expecting flowers at work, since I told him that although we were doing all of the celebrating over the weekend, I'd like some sort of acknowledgement like a card or something on Monday, and he countered with, "So you're going to work Monday, right?" Yep, my sweetie is not very subtle sometimes. But I love him sooooo much! If only I could jump his bones tonight. *sigh*

So, here I am. I'm 29. I would tell you my birthday wish from the candle in my cupcake, but then it wouldn't come true, and it's very important to me that it does, however simple a request it was.

It's very strange to be so close to 30. I never thought I'd live this long, mostly. And secondly, I still think of myself as 18. I think I'll wear pigtails to work just to prove that I *am* still young!

Once again, my birthday causes me to think of my mother. Because her birthday is next week. And Sweetie's relatives all sent me cards (and a check from his grandparents!), as well as my Gramma. And this is the 2nd year in a row that my mother has not bothered to even send me a little note, let alone a card or a present. I know she's poor, but stamps cost 34�, and there's always paper to be found to write a note if you can't send a card. Last year I boycotted her birthday. After sending her flowers for the past couple of years, I didn't send her even a card. And I plan on doing the same if there isn't a card in the mail today.

It bothers me, how as time goes on, I resent my mother more and more. Because she was my best friend & confidant growing up. I loved her to death. The other day on the radio, this new song combining Christopher Cross' "Sailing the Seven Seas" with techno came on, and I really like it. It makes me feel all warm & fuzzy to hear that song. So I was wondering why. And I realized it was because it makes me think of my mother. And I instantly got to thinking of her and Christmas and my sucky childhood. And I really resent her so much. For forcing us to go through all of that by not just leaving my dad behind. Constantly getting back together with him, no matter what. It's sickening. I don't understand her anymore. It feels like I don't even know her.

And I miss my mother. When I get very upset, in immense pain, I cry out for my "Mommy." When I was thinking about leaving Sweetie 3 years ago, I called her up bawling my eyes out, calling her Mommy the entire time.

Where is that woman? Where is my mommy? She's just a hollow shell trying to placate every whim of the demon in the body of my father. I hate them both because of it. But I still miss my Mommy.

last - next