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#231 - getting in the holiday spirit
11/21/01 @ 6:03 pm

On this Holiday Eve, here is an inspiring thought to warm all your hearts as I get into the family spirit:

It's too late to plan this for Thanksgiving, but I was thinking about hiring someone to be my girlfriend for Christmas, you know, bringing her home to meet the family? Of course, I would have to have Magenta hair in some punk style, a tongue piercing, and a tank top so tight (and braless) that my nipple rings would show. Then we would french kiss in front of everyone. Then I thought, no. Sweetie would have to be there to see this. I know! The THREE of us walk in holding hands, announce we have an open relationship, and start pawing each other right then and there. Of course, when her tongue goes in my mouth, it will knock loose the magnetic tongue piercing, almost choking me probably, and I will start giggling and the jig will be up.

Do you think they would laugh or die of heart failure?

Hmmmmm... Something to think about anyway.

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