Strange day today, filled with weird emotions and pain. Mostly pain.

I woke up this morning with a migraine. It was not happy. I was not happy. I didn't want to, but I called in and said I would be a few hours, coz I had to wait for the excedrin to kick in. Then I went to bed. And it was still there. So I sat around wondering what to do. Part of me wanted to go to work, out of guilt. Another part wanted to stay home, because the guilt was ridiculous. I was really upset when galpal took a mental health day yesterday. Because an hour before quitting time Tuesday, we discussed training Wednesday afternoon. And she was in a good mood. Then an hour later she met with the boss and decided at that time that she would take the next day off. And she didn't tell me. And bossman didn't tell me. NO ONE TOLD ME until that afternoon. I had assumed she was off doing her morning of meetings that she had planned, then I would get trained. So I felt pretty pissy about HER getting taken to lunch by Bosslady and HER getting permission to take a mental health day in advance. So why should I feel guilty that she's going to be swamped the day after being out and having to do my job?

Especially when I get in and I find out she *didn't* do my job, because *she* doesn't have time. I love this place, I tell ya. Part of me was really grouchy about that, because as of Wednesday, she was supposed to do receiving in the mornings and me learning purchasing in the afternoons. But now that she's out, it's back to it being my job. Whatever. Funny thing is, as we're talking later, I find out that why she took the stress day is coz she's so pissy about how she's treated at work. Because her brother is the boss. And although some people see her getting priviledges because of that, she thinks she actually gets treated worse. So she feels slighted about alot of things. I tried so hard not to giggle. Because for the longest time, I felt slighted by her presence.

Because she was hired about a year after me, and hired on at what was my current pay rate. And she was promoted quicker than me. But that's old now. Now that I no longer know what she's making, thank GOD. When I accidentally stumbled over that info, I was livid for over 6 months. But I'm confident that we're basically seen as 2 of the most reliable & responsible people at the company and we make pretty similar salaries, so I don't stress it anymore.

But it does bug me that she gets taken to lunches to discuss her stresses and I don't. Grr.

Anyway, so what else? Hmmm...

Oh, so I have this cold, see. And then I had this migraine, see? And then, as the migraine started going away, I started my period. In one gut-wrenching moment. Can you say MENSTRUAL CRAMPS??? Argh! No, I was not a very happy camper today. Especially when I started getting nauseaus on top of that. Jesus Fucking H. Christ! How much can one damn body take? ARGH!!!

On top of all this, I'm horny. But I have no desire to have sex. Er, not intercourse. I'd really like an orgasm though. Like, really, really. Unfortunately, intercourse is about all I get when I'm on the rag, if we're both up to it. And I'm *so* not today. So completely worn out.

But that's not important to you guys! What's important is WHY I'm so fucking horny. Why, you ask? Because I am in love! OK, not in love, sorry. I am completely... infatuated with this beautiful girl at this on-line porn place. I'm not sure why I was looking at the Goth porn place, but suddenly I was hitting all these goth places, and I found this new Goth porn place that wasn't necessarily goth. But I think I'm going to join for a month and see what I get. Because I am IN LOVE with this girls tits! I *hate* to call them tits. And I don't like tits. But this girl, she makes me want to say tits. I don't know why. All I know is, she has the most beautiful tits I've ever seen. They're not huge, but they're not tiny. They're fucking perfect, and I want them so bad. I was thinking about her all day. About those perfect tits, wanting to lay my head on them. Feel them cupped in my hands. Kiss them. With my lips. And mouth. And tongue.

Here is my beautiful Sasha, in all (ok, most) of her glory:

WARNING: NUDITY FOLLOWS

*sigh* Isn't she dreamy???

Anyway, the chicks at Suicide Girls are for the most part pretty cute. With the exception of a few waifs. And they're probably all way too young for me (including my beloved Sasha). And most of them have pretty small tits. But one girl whose tits I can't see without subscribing is Kendra. And if I could see them, I might just be in love with her too. Because she looks like Heather. Mostly. Her eyes are blue, making her look very Nordic instead of Heather's German hazel-brown eyes. And her nose looks... kinder to her face than Heather's. But she's lovely. So here she is, sans nudity:

Anyway, I think I'm going to go subscribe now, before Sweetie comes home & I feel too guilty. I mean, it's only SEVEN DOLLARS!!! How can I not?

I am so weak.

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