Tired of the news, we watched "eXistenZ" last night. Pronunciation like the beginning of "existentialism". I think that was a point they were going for: if I'm experiencing reality, is it real? The answer: who fucking cares - this was a crappy movie.

Actually, it wasn't horrible. Jennifer Jason Leigh & Jude Law are great actors, and their characters were great. Even the idea behind the movie was really intriguing. But the whole first 3/4 or so of the movie was about trying to be funny and witty and sexy and showing off how weird alternate realities can be. And it was gross. Really GROSS. The game systems were biological. And that was just the beginning of the grossness.

Game systems. Do you guys even know what this movie is about? Came out last summer, didn't do so well, so went to video pretty quickly. Of course, B. upstairs being the gamer he is, bought it the second it came out on DVD. Man, just because you're a gamer, doesn't mean you have to buy every crappy gaming movie out there! I wonder if he bought "Dungeons & Dragons"? *shudder*

The movie's about a meeting of the first group of volunteers to test a new game & game system called "eXistenZ". It starts out being about how weird the fucking game is, just like reality, but amazingly fake and just plain WEIRD. Kind of like living through a dream. As the movie progresses towards the ending, the theme changes to take on the question of just what is reality. OF COURSE they don't answer that question, they just try and make you go "hmmm" and think about it. But instead, you're left thinking, "uh, THAT was pointless and made no sense!"

Yah, it was pretty bad. However, the scene where Jude & JJ start to get it on? Mmmmm. No nakedness, but it's still damn sexy. I woke up thinking about that scene, licking my lips. Of course, I had dreamed about some sexual themes, so this was expected. Anyway, I woke up horny, and would have tackled my husband, but he was up extra-early, getting ready for a meeting for a contracting gig he supposedly has in the bag. We'll see.

Anyway, I wanted to write about the sexiness I was feeling, but of course today is the "Day of Rememberance", and I just *had* to turn on the TV. *sigh* I have nothing against remembering, it's just I've been remembering over & over 24/7 for a few days now, and I was just starting to put it behind me and feel human again, but everyone wants to remember one more time.

So I wore black today. And didn't have sex. But I'm going to do my damnedest not to remember. I think it's already enough that every time I wake up, 2am bathroom break, 6am go for water, 9am time to shower, I think about that plane hitting the 2nd building. It pops into my head, to play just like it did on TV. To remind me that I may feel safe in my bed, but everyone in that plane and in those buildings felt safe going about their day. And then the world exploded.

Damn. I just remembered.

---

God. God, god. I feel horrible. It only occurred to me a few minutes ago that an ex-coworker lives in New York. In fact, the ex-coworker that I had a humungous crush on. And it only just now occurred to me to be worried for him. Shit. I emailed a co-worker he's still friends with, and despite not hearing from him since Tuesday, they did converse via email about an hour after the first crash, and at the time he was at a safe distance, so I think it's safe to assume that he's ok and simply being kept away from his home. God. I feel like a moron for not thinking of him sooner. At least he's ok. I think my current co-worker would have said something to us if he wasn't. Ex-coworker was very popular with everyone here. Hope he's well.

---

Have any of you read "The Stand" by Stephen King? It's about an apocolypse & its aftermath. I read it during the summer of 1991, right after high school graduation. I was so impressed, my copy did the rounds among my friends. That summer, "Crazy" by Seal could be heard multiple times a day. I don't know about any of you, but with this book and a few others, there are musical imprints in my mind of them. When I hear "Crazy", I instantly think of "The Stand". At the time, not only did I love that song, but it seemed amazingly relevant to what I was reading. Well, the mp3 just popped up in my playlist. Made me think of "The Stand". Which made me think of New York. Chilling. The song is still relevant. I wonder if I'll ever figure out what the song's really about? I don't really care to know. I just hope that at some point, it stops reminding me of New York.

---

God Gave U.S. 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says
Everyone go here to find out what fucking shits Jerry Falwell & Pat Robertson are.

last - next