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#4(!!!)
AUGUST 2001 If... Project
If you were offered the answer to one of life's mysteries, which would you choose to have solved? What would you do with the information?
This is very tough for me to answer. I've put it off an impossibly long time. I mean, I've been dying to find something to write about, and I've had this question sitting in my inbox for a whole week! Okay, it seemed longer than that in my head...
The one mystery in life that I want solved more than any other is whether or not there is life elsewhere in the universe. But other than comforting me in the same way belief in god comforts a Christian, what the hell would that knowledge do for anyone? Make a couple of scientists and a couple more sci-fi nuts really happy & jump around for joy? No, if I was just offered up this information, with no proof at all? I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go of the opportunity to do something meaningful to more people than just myself.
Disease is a mystery of life, right? I would ask that the knowledge to cure and/or vaccinate against AIDS be housed in my little brain. My little, puny, whimsical right-brained mind. Then I would march to the nearest AIDS research center, grab a chalk board or a notebook or whatever, and vomit the formula from my head to said writing space. I would jump up & down, pointing, going "See! See! That's how you cure AIDS! We've done it! We've cured AIDS! Do the math! See how simple that is?!" Beakers would smash to the floor, pens would fall out of limp hands, notebooks would carelessly be left to flutter to the floor as everyone gaped in wonder at the simplicity behind the method to cure such an elaborate disease. Such a horrible menace to all society.
People would look at me in consternation, wondering who I was. I would smile just like Alanis Morissette in "Dogma", and not whisper a single word. Not my name, not what had happened to me, not how I had discovered this, not how I could have possibly wrote this thing on the board that I don't even know what it means. I would just make sure that everyone in the room understood. We had the cure. The head of research would know. He would be on the phone to every fellow researcher and government health agency in the country, around the world. It would be just like "Contact". The government would be pissed that we shared the information with France or something, but in his/her excitement, the head researcher would just HAVE to share the joyful news to the world. Deaths would be prevented! Lives would be saved! It's so *simple*! We can start working up a syrum right here with the chemicals we have in the lab today!
And I would quietly float out the door in the middle of all the excitement, wearing my Mona Lisa smile. And if anyone thought about keeping this information to themselves, I would go to the nearest payphone and call a local news channel & tell them what was going on inside the building, room 4F. Then I would go to the next closest research facility and repeat. Then walk out and call another local news agency. After that, I think things would kinda take care of themselves.
AIDS would be cured. There would be cheap vaccinations across the world. Humanity would breathe a collective sigh of relief. I would go to bed happy and dream of aliens on other planets, wondering if they're really up there.
