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ow + good + grr
01/07/03 @ 4:56 pm

This is going to be a difficult week, but I think ultimately more rewarding.

I am still sore, which is more and more frustrating each day. Did I mention this? Looks like not. The weekend before this last one, I was slammed around a bit much in this motion-simulator ride at the Seattle Science Center. It aggravated my back and tailbone, which had started hurting over the past few weeks for some unknown reason(s). I immediately got off the ride and remarked that it hurt worse. Then it quickly got better. Monday was alright, Tuesday was alright, but the evening of New Years Day was TERRIBLE. The next day, I went to work, and I was practically in tears when I was seating.

I went to the doctor last Friday, and she thinks that I may have aggravated an old injury. She got me to remember that when I was about 10 fell on my back and went to the hospital, and a year later I went back complaining of very similar pains to what I'm feeling now. And even though where I hit myself when I fell was much higher on my back then my tailbone, at the time everyone assumed it was related. So my current doc is assuming this too. She thinks maybe I had a tailbone fracture all those years ago, and it just got enflamed. She said to give it 2 weeks of being nice, using proper posture, lots of advil or aleve for anti-inflammatory, and occassionally ice or heat.

Two weeks. Hmph. It's an odd injury, because I can feel fine most of the time, even to the point of sitting down and thinking nothing's wrong. But when I stand up again, wham, evil pain. Sometimes freak-me-out-it's-so-damn-bad pain.

And I'm a bookkeeper who has to sit all the time. Yay! Not.

Anyway, I am injured. Bleh.

School starts tonight, and I am excited, because I really need a kick in the pants. I have gotten very unsure of myself lately. Having worked so many hours in December here as the bookkeeper, I worked myself into the status quo and convinced myself it wasn't so bad, so why change anything.

Once out of a routine, it's hard to convince yourself to go back to it, especially when you've already got another one going that doesn't seem so bad. But I am committed to keep up this schooling. For now. At least one more quarter. Because I remember how important it was to me last quarter, how good it was for me, how committed I was, how proud I was of myself for sticking with it.

And anything that gives me positive self-esteem is a good thing!

But I have been feeling very take-it-or-leave-it about the daycare thing lately. I think mostly because I was scared to death to go back to my old daycare, but didn't know how to find another one I could fit in at. So I buckled down and called the teacher I liked so much. She ran it by the Evil Director, who AGREED, and I am going to be volunteering 3 mornings a week now, to be able to complete my assignments and stay in the program. Yay!

Today was my first day. It was so awesome. It was nice to see some of the kids I'd worked with in the past. Some of them are gone, including my 2 favorites, which is so sad. But all 3 girls that were there today and in my class gave me a hug! It was so sweet! Oddly, we only had 6 kids today, and 2 of them I didn't know. We all had a great time going to the park.

It was quite a remarkable day. In the sun, it was near 60F or so, and we all had our coats off and ran around. Kids are amazing. They see an open field, and they just start running. The lead teacher was bemoaning her not thinking of bringing a ball or two for them to play with, but they just kept running and making up things to do without a single complaint of being bored or needing to go to the bathroom! We were there for almost 2 hours with no bathroom breaks! Do you know how amazing that is for 4 year olds???

The park was so sunny and beautiful, even if it was just a small baseball field. So green, and watching the kids run. It was odd to find it there, like a hidden gem, right on the side of the Freeway behind a massive anti-noise wall, so I'd never seen it before. But you could still hear the cars whizzing by. Louder than the ocean. Later, the kids were drawing and digging in the sand that was the baseball diamond, and the teacher remarked it was like we'd gone to the beach. With the sun out and the cars like a roaring ocean behind us, it certainly felt like it! Later, we drew circles in the sand for them to count, and then letters for them to read to us, so we could claim we'd done something educational instead of just play for 2 hours! Personally, I thought it was amazing just watching them so happy to play imaginary baseball! That sounds educational and enriching, doesn't it??

Those kids sure can run. And run and run and run. And not get tired!!!

So, now I am at work, sitting on my bum, wondering how to make it through the rest of the day. 1.25 hours more of work, then drive to school to buy a parking pass, then occupy myself for another hour or so before class starts. Then sit around in class for 2 hours. Eep! My butt's gonna be so sore tonight!

Just got an annoying email that all staff are supposed to be on time, instead of being "flexible" with their hours. Since this is so crucial to front staff that deal with retail customers, they're enforcing it on us back here to be "fair". And since I don't work in retail and I'm part time, and my hours are slightly different on various days, I've let myself fall into a pattern of being late. All the time. Coz what does it really matter? *sigh* I don't think it was aimed at me, but I was feeling guilty about it anyway. We'll see how well I am at actually complying though. I find it so hard to be ontime in the mornings!!!!!

Oh POOH! I thought I was getting an email from someone with a real estate recommendation, and our fall-back recommendation isn't going to come through! ACK! Anyone know a good agent in Seattle??? We left a message for this woman the Friday after Christmas. I was so excited to finally be able to use her, because she's helped 3 people here get houses over the 6 years I've been here. And yet she never got back to me. I know I got the right number. I have this thing about people who don't get back to me. I think it's unconscionably (?sp) rude. Not that I don't do it to people. But especially in this situation: "hi, remember me? you are so cool, and everyone recommends you. please take my money and help me spend it!!!" Don't you think not responding to a message like that is rude? I waited until after new years to make sure she just wasn't out on holiday. FUCK.

Now even the fall-back recommended person is a no go! He's out of business due to some illnes! FUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

Grr. Why is it so hard to spend money??????? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

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