When I woke up at 2 in the morning to use the bathroom, I had just been dreaming that my husband was a hunter. It was traditional for the men to go off to hunt together, and the wives to set up temporary camps each night near each day's new hunting grounds. My husband handed me our baby girl, "Melissa", and said she was sick. I didn't know what to do. It was my duty to follow my husband and set up a camp so he could survive in the wilderness during the hunt. But it was also my duty to protect my baby while she was sick.

I dreamed that I was Whoopie Goldberg's character in The Color Purple. Except she met Shug when she was still a girl. And when she smiled that beautiful smile, it was Shug who told her, "You sho is ugly." So I stopped smiling.

I dreamed about some intergalactic James Bond-type spy, eavesdropping on evil alien conversations and nailing alien women. Turned out he was being played by Kevin Costner (ewww), and it was the first rated R movie to show someone getting a blow job. I saw Kevin Costner getting a blowjob. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Then there was the last dream that I just woke up from. It was the longest, the most twists. Like it was really a bunch of different dreams, but some thread held it together. It started out trying to get to the place where we were to meet Sweetie's family for a get-together. Lots of trauma there, cell phones not working, getting lost in a mall, etc. Trauma at the convenience store trying to buy $3 eye drops, but I had no cash, and successive credit cards weren't working - because they all demanded I show my birth certificate. Finally got to the dinner, and everyone was staying the night at this hotel. Except for some reason it was *our* responsibility to take everyone's children into *our* room and babysit them for the night. Later, all the kids were revolting, and I was trying to save the little infant, but the damn brats had unleashed poisonos spiders from their cage to attack me & my husband. Finally got the infant. But as we were trying to get away, one of our friends turned out to be on the uprising side, and stole the baby from us in a grocery store. And then they stole my Husband. So I decided it was time to commit suicide, since I didn't have my baby or my husband any more. And then my gaypal showed up to take me out to drinks. Great idea, I'll get drunk instead of suicide! Except in the car, I realized I didn't have any credit cards on me that would work, because I still hadn't found my birth certificate, so I began to cry...

This is why I can always find the importance or at least symbolism in other people's dreams, but not my own. Because I always think EVERY little detail is important to the telling. Except that I still mourn those two babies, Melissa the sick one and then the stolen baby. If I hadn't just finished my period this weekend and we haven't had sex in over a week, I would be concerned that I'm pregnant.

As it is, I think I'm just mourning the loss of things domestic. I want to get some life changes going on. I want to buy a house. I want to have a baby. I want to go back to school. And suddenly, ALL of that is on hold as we wonder where Sweetie will be working next week.

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