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#37 - Part 2
2001-06-22 @ 5:41 p.m.

Part 2 is at the bottom guys.

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i also got the new "Air" cd. it is yummie. not as yummie as their first cd, and more leaning to the soundtrack for "the virgin suicides", but i'm telling you, this thing is like a soundtrack for my life. song 2 is "how does it make you feel", which i'm guessing is one side of an online conversation that leads to a confession of love. yikes. then there's "lucky and unhappy". talk about my life story. i'm married to a great man and that's not enough for me, i have to fall in love with someone who lives on another continent. yippie.

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a woman tried to add me to her buddy-list via my favorite chat program the other day. being curious, i checked out her profile. she was from a town very near seattle, and there was a picture of her in a man's arms. she looked very attractive. her profile said that she was looking to hook up with annonymous(?) women to have sex with, but sorry, no men at the moment. i'm like, god, so she saw i'm in seattle and sent out this request to be buddies to see if i'm interested? yikes! i sent her a response saying she was beautiful, but no thanks. i've never been with a woman before, and the idea is still pretty damn intimidating. plus, what the hell would i do with *another* sexual partner???

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i remembered another contradiction that i was going to put in that entry i wrote ages ago. sometimes, i'm shy. especially about sex. go figure. case-in-point: my gay pal and I were at Capital Hill (Seattle's gay Meccah), and we used the oppotunity to visit my favorite gay store, The Pink Zone. We're perusing the items, and i have this addiction to magnets, so i'm glancing around, when i roll the next side of the magnet stand around to face me, and i'm faced with a wall of happy cocks shining at me. um. i gave out a startled cry and blushed and gaypal and two lesbians giggled at my shock. i felt like a moron, and blushed more. i have no problem with seeing cock, but it's kind of unexpected to see 30 magnet-sized ones 6 feet from your face with no warning. gaypal made fun of me the rest of the afternoon.

~ * ~

note to self: stop playing "the origin of love" while R. is not talking to me. in fact, stop listening to the whole damn album. "wicked little town" cuts me just as deep. i hate being this miserable for this long. i am so pathetic.

~ * ~

my husband just laid off his development staff. he is very upset. we are going to spend a mellow evening together, i think. he's coming home soon anyway. it's very strange, the way i would do anything to make him not hurt, to be happy, and yet i can't say goodbye to R. anyway, at least my husband still has a job for the months ahead, if he so chooses. but these were the skeleton crew that he saved from the big slashing 6 months ago, his best people. i will miss hello kitty girl, she is so damn sweet. i think hubby will miss the boy-developer the most, because he's been with the company the longest, and they're both boys, y'know? i'm kinda surprised he's not out drinking with them tonight. must mean today's not their last day.

~ * ~

i listened to brassy so much today, i was anticipating flying objects being tossed into my office from the other side of the divide. some of the songs are repetitive, and i just put the album on repeat all day. i can tell when they're getting upset with me, because one of my techs turns on enya REALLY LOUD. that's so amusing. loud enya. why he doesn't wear headphones, i have no clue. me, i try and keep my music quiet when he's in the office. speaking of boys in the office, cuteboy has been in EVERY day this week. does he know how close he is to having me permanently attached to his person??? every time i see him, it's like a magnet in my crotch has been activated to pull me to him. damn. it's annoying. new things to add to the list of what makes him sexy: his voice. dammit. just what i need, ANOTHER crush on a co-worker. i wrote out that list of crushes during my lifetime, and realized it would be way to embarrassing to publish, even annonymously. =^.^=

~ * ~

went to the gym again for the 1st time since last Friday. i had been hitting all my appointments like a good girl till my life turned over on Monday. i was expecting it to beat me up, and it didn't. i always expect it to beat me up, and it doesn't. every time i leave there, i wonder if i'm getting my money's worth. only, i don't think this *while* i'm working out, so maybe it's ok. & they bump up the weights every time, so it must be working, right? hmmmm...

~ * ~

no one has said anything about the new layout. huh. well, if you don't mind it, i'll keep it for awhile, coz i really like the fairy. anyway, hubby will be home soon, so here's part 2 of my story for you. hit previous if you didn't get to read part 1. ooo, part 2 is even LONGER than part 1. i hope it's not *too* long.

Part 2

The second time we met, I stumbled into his�

I was walking in my gardens, and there were butterflies fluttering all around me. I giggled and danced in the sunlight as they swarmed about my whole body. The smell of the roses was exquisite, the light playing off the reflecting pool dazzling, the song of butterfly wings mesmerizing. The butterflies began to cling to my skirts, and I noticed I was dressed in a flowing gown of the palest, icy lavender. I sighed and sat in the grass, gazing into the pool to watch the koi playing in the water.

I looked about and sighed at the beauty around me. I looked at the sky, and saw the looming dome above. Where was the sunlight from, if we were in a dome? A monstrous dome rose above, the size of a city it seemed, and through the glass I saw the bluest water. I was under water! There were fish in that water! Dolphins and fish and sharks! So high above, yet I could see clearly a pod of dolphins, playing in the sparkling water that was somehow held back instead of crushing inside. A sighed at this magic, grinning in happiness.

Suddenly, there was a cry behind me, and rushing footfalls in my direction. I rose and turned, to be met by a smallish man dressed in courtly finery running towards me. I was reminded of Alice�s white rabbit� "Majesty! Majesty!" he cried out, stopping in front of me. "It�s terrible news!"

I looked down at him in consternation. "What is it, Mordred?" I asked, wondering vaguely how I knew his name. "Whatever could be wrong in this place?"

"The dome, your Majesty, it has cracked!" he answered.

I gasped, my eyes flying to look above and examine the dome. It seemed quite intact. The dolphins were gone, but fish still swam within sight.

"No, Majesty, not there. Near the East Gate, Majesty. The water is but a spout now, but the engineers have been called, and they have concluded it cannot be fixed! In fact, they say it is growing! Majesty, we must evacuate!" He was hopping and sputtering, and again, he seemed so much like a little white rabbit who had the habit of checking his watch. I did not see a chain on Mordred, though, and thought he would be inconsolable if I grinned at this moment.

"Evacuate?" I asked, as the gravity of the situation sunk in. We were all going to be killed if the water rushed in here and drowned our city, or worse, the dome collapsed on top of us. But this wondrous place, how could we possibly leave it? "We cannot evacuate these lands! This is our home! Our precious home! There must be another way!"

He gave a quick nod. "If you choose for us to stay, your people will stay. But you must save them! You must call the Hero!"

"The Hero," I murmured, remembering for the first time. Yes, the Hero, the defender of our city. "Of course, Mordred! The Hero! I will leave at once." With that, I dashed off, in the direction of the North Gate. A moment later, I was through the gate and on the other side, outside of my lands.

The sky rose high above me, higher than my beautiful dome had been, and everywhere there were gently rolling hills covered in grass, stirred by the lightest breeze. I breathed in to taste the smell of this wind, but instead tasted smoke. I turned to my left and saw rising over a hill a little cloud of smoke. I dashed up the hill to gaze down at scattered fire pits, and around each a dozen men in armor clamored for warmth in the dawn. There were scores of such groups, around each more armored men in full battle gear, swords on their backs, shields at their feet. Not a one noticed me on the hilltop, which was a good thing, because everything about this seemed wrong. Why was there a battalion of men outside of my city, preparing for war?

I glanced back to check on my precious city, and it was gone! Instead, a line of hundreds of men advanced on my position, coming down the closest hill to bridge the gap between too quickly to comprehend what was happening. I gasped at the sight of their swords clasped in hand, the grimaces etched into their faces as they approached. Behind me there was a sound, and I twirled around in horror to see a man approaching from the battalion waiting at the base of the hill.

"My fair Lady, what brings you to the middle of this battle field? Surely you are lost?" he was saying as he walked up to me, his silver armor glinting in the morning sunlight.

"Run!" I cried. "All of you must ready, they are coming!"

He glanced over my shoulder, and a startled cry arose from his lips. He turned to his men and shouted, "Arise, all of you! The enemy approaches, prepare for war!" With that, he drew his sword from his back, the ruby and sapphire hilt gleaming, and he grabbed my hand.

"Madame, you are in danger here. I will protect you though." Then he moved me behind him, and turned to face the rushing enemy. In an instant, they were upon us.

With a cry, he raised his sword and dispatched the first man, then a second. Again and again, a hundred men came at us, only to be rebuffed by his majestic sword. I was terrified, clinging to his back during the attack, and finally ducked my head against him to hide from the sight of so much gore. But the fight would not let me hide. Instead, a strong arm came around my waist and heaved me away from my defender!

I screamed then, and watched helplessly as he turned to face this brute who had grabbed me. "Let her go, Mordred! She is nothing to you! This is between you and I!"

Mordred? How did I know that name?

"Arthur, you like the pretty girl?" came a voice behind me, followed by a wicked laugh. Cruel fingers dug into my ribs where he held me against him. "What would you do to save her?" Wet lips planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek, and I screamed and squirmed to get away.

"Mordred, leave her be! This fight is ours!" With that, Arthur stepped forward and took my hand, wrenching me from the monster�s grip. He pushed me behind him and away from the both of them. "Let us finish this."

A great fight ensued between them, swords clashing time and again. Why couldn�t Arthur just finish this one, the way he had the others? Could he lose this battle?

Suddenly, Arthur�s sword flung from his hands, and he fell back onto the ground next to it, Mordred�s sword planted against his neck. "Now, Arthur, Camelot is mine!"

Camelot? Before I could wonder at this realization of what was happening, Mordred raised his sword to make the final blow. Without thinking, I launched myself forward, screaming, "No!" My fists in the air, as if to attack his armor so pathetically.

But I had distracted Mordred to look at me, and he paused from the kill to watch me approach in consternation. Before I could reach them to somehow stop them, with what I didn�t know, Arthur was on his knees, his sword plunged deep into the gap of Mordred�s armor. I stopped and gasped, watching Mordred fall down dead.

This final death seemed to be too much for me, and I just stood there, shaking my head in shock of it all. Arthur came up in front of me, removing a glove, so he could lift his bare hand to my cheek and wipe the tears from my face. "It is over now, he is dead," he told me.

I came out of it a little and nodded, looking him over. Yes, this was definitely our Hero. So he had a name now, and his land was called Camelot? It made no difference, our lands must be saved! "You are the Hero!" I exclaimed. "Quickly, Hero, you must save us."

He laughed. "I have already saved us! I am the great Arthur, who has conquered Mordred to reclaim Camelot, and you are my prize, my Guenevere." With that, he lowered his head and planted his lips squarely on top of mine, his tongue piercing my mouth, his hand squeezing my breast.

With a shocked gasp, I pushed him off of me. "How dare you!" I roared. "I am your Queen, you are my Hero! I command you to rescue my lands, and keep your hands off of my person!"

He just stood there, looking perplexed, his eyes meeting mine finally. Those eyes were vaguely familiar somehow, but I could not place them. He sighed then.

"You�re not Guenevere, are you?" he said, stepping forward. "Just like� like Maid Marianne�" He stopped then, his eyes narrowing as he looked me up and down, settling on my face again. He reached out and touched my hair and, before I could move away, he had unpinned whatever had held my locks in place, so that they slid down around my face and shoulders. He took a handful of curls to swirl around his fingers, and then met my eyes with a smile. "I remember you," he said.

With a shock, I remembered those eyes, those piercing eyes that could search to the very depths of my soul. Vague images of India and Robin Hood swam in my head, but I could not really remember much, just his beautiful, haunting eyes. "I remember you," I echoed, and reached out to touch his face.

With that touch, a familiar electricity flowed between us, and again transported us to some wondrous place. When my eyes opened, we were alone in a stone room, rugs partially covering the cold floor, a roaring fire at one wall warming the chilled air, windows all around opened to the night sky and stars above. Except the wall farthest from us, which again was a vast darkness promising other lands. Somehow I had taken this all in without removing my hand from his face, and his hand was still embedded in my hair.

I took a step back to look him over, dressed in some long dark poet�s shirt edged in cuffs of flopping lace. His black pants seemed some suede-like fabric that hugged his thighs and were stuffed into knee-high black leather boots that laced all the way up. His hair was some dark color, pulled back severely from his head to be almost out of view at the base of his neck. I saw black ribbons there instead of his hair.

Me, I was now in the richest of red gowns. Another hoop skirt, but this time black petticoats peaked from below, and my bodice was etched in matching black lace. My deep red-brown hair lay in tight ringlets around my bosom.

"What�s happening?" I asked, raising my eyes to meet his. They were so familiar, like I had known them forever, not just since that last room we had visited in India.

He crossed the small space between us, his ponytail of black hair spilling down his shoulder into view. He saw my glance and looked too, and seemed startled when he looked back at me. "My hair is not black," he said. He closed his eyes then, an odd expression coming over his face as he took in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with hunger. "And I have this almost uncontrollable desire to bite you." With this, he left his mouth open, breathing heavily as if tasting the air with his tongue, and at that moment I saw his fangs!

I gasped at the sight, but moved closer, to press myself into his arms.

"You confound me," he murmured, as he curled around me, his face pressing against my neck. I felt his tongue on my throat, and then the slightest of pressure as he sunk his fangs into me. I gave a slight sigh and sagged against him, as his mouth suckled the delicate wound he had made.

Suddenly, he pulled himself off of me, taking a step back. I thought I would fall, but I held, gazing at him through half-lidded eyes. His eyes were like saucers, and my blood trickled down his lip to his chin. He raised a hand to touch it, bringing his fingers forward to stare at my blood smeared there. A groan escaped his lips, and he plunged his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment in ecstasy, then flew open to stare at me heatedly.

"What have you made of me?" he asked angrily, stepping forward quickly and taking me up into his arms. He walked us to an oversized chair, sitting himself down with me in his lap. "I can do nothing but smell your scent and dazzle at your eyes and taste your blood," he whispered, his voice sounding pained as his eyes searched my face for some kind of answer.

I leaned back to put my head on the arm of the chair, arching my back to thrust my breasts into his face. "Shut up and take me, now," I muttered, my voice gravelly with desire.

With a little moan, he was at my throat, lapping at the blood there. Then his lips trailed downward, and began to lay kisses on my bosom. Quickly, he made a little gash into one breast, and began to suckle luxuriantly against the wound. I moaned against him, and looked into those fiery eyes full of desire for me, saw the blood smeared around his mouth as he panted, his breath hot on my face. "You have changed me, changed my dream," he said thickly. "Just as I entered and changed your dream, you have entered and changed mine. And look what you have made of me!"

I could not read the expression on his face through his desire, but something was there. Frightened? Excited? Horrified? Had he said dream? What did he mean? Now I was confused. Why were we here in this place, why was he a vampire now, and me his willing victim?

"Dream? Did you say dream?" I asked, sitting up. As I said it, an odd feeling of comprehension began to buzz in the back of my mind, as if I only had to think hard enough, and all of this would make some sense. But at that same moment, a familiar sound began to fill the room.

It was the beeping, scrubbing away my vision. I could barely make out his face now, but his eyes blazed with fear. He could tell I was leaving him. "No, don�t go now! Not now when you�re just realizing that you�re dreaming! NO!"

I rolled over and smacked the alarm off. "�dreaming�" I mumbled, and sunk into the covers, oblivion filling up around me as I closed my eyes again.

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