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#313 - mostly BS, but the Two Towers & more
12/24/02 @ 12:19 am

Hello everybody. I don't really have anything interesting or important to report, I just find myself falling into this old habit that I ran into with my paper journals: only updating when something horrible or heartbreaking needs to be written down to be dealt with. Leading to the conclusion that I lead a most depressing life.

Which is just completely untrue! I mostly lead a completely *boring* life!!! Hence, I have nothing to talk about...

I finished up classes, and just looked up my grades this morning, and I got all 4.0's! Yee-haw! I am so pleased. I thought maybe the hard class he wouldn't give it to me because I didn't turn in a journal entry every week, but apparently I met the journal minimum anyway, so YEAH!!! It really is nice to see all that hard work pay off.

Other than that, I don't want to much think about school right now. I am trying to use this week off to my best advantage. I spend so much of my time off dreading the day I have to go back to work. I always wake up on Sunday mornings more depressed than on Monday mornings! And I'm really thinking I should have taken more than just this one week off. But since it's all I have, I'm going to make the most of it, and try to sleep and chill out as much as possible. I'll worry about the future next week!

ie: where the fuck am I going to volunteer next quarter? *sigh*

Anyway, last night we went to see the ZooLights at Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium. I've never been to that zoo before, and never been to zoolights, so it was nice, but cold. Luckily, it was a pretty clear night, so we didn't get rained on. Saw my nieces for the first time in months. The little one is growing taller finally! For the longest time she was so damned small! And the older one still makes me think of my childhood, since she's 12. Probably my favorite childhood year. When I look at her, I remember me and the Heathers. And I try very hard to not think about the fact that I was obsessed with sex at the time...

So today is just a day to relax at home until the festivities get underway. I fully-cleaned the hamster's cage for the first time in a month, which they say you're supposed to do once a week. Yah, RIGHT.

Oh, Scampie escaped yesterday. We woke up and the huge dictionary that was holding his wheel against his cage was on the floor, and no Scampie in his cage, the wheel pushed away a few inches. Eek! I immediately snatched the cat and locked him in the bedroom after verifying that there was no blood on him. It took us almost an hour to look for him, because we were being methodical. We should have started with the couches, because there he was, crouching behind one!!! And he was ALIVE!!! He had jumped/fallen off the entertainment center, a good 5-feet drop! The books say not to drop him even just into his cage! And when you pick him up, you can feel those little shoulder blades and ribcage and just know that with the smalled amount of pressure you could squeeze him to death. And he's fine! What a crazy daredevil hamster! Of course, husband thinks he fell. His imitation, "Hey, what's th--- PLOP! Owwwwwww!!!"

We are very happy that Kitty did not eat or otherwise injure Scampie, but husband believes that Kittie's poor hunting skills, small attention span, and lack of interest in most things while he's napping may have been the true saviors of Scampie. I believe Scampie darted straight to that couch and Kittie never had a chance!

See how boring domestic life can be???

We saw The Two Towers opening night. And only because they added more showings after the others all sold out! We were lucky.

It was a very good film. I liked it very much. I loved the cinematography once again. Liv Tyler is so amazingly beautiful. And Viggo Mortensen is starting to grow on me. Of course, Orlando Bloom is such a fucking hottie, I practically salivate every time he's on screen! People are talking about how cool Gollum/Smeagal was. I thought it was nifty and humorous and important and even touching. But I didn't necessarily think it made the movie, like some people are claiming. And I thought the mis-matched runners of Aragorn, Legolas, & Gimli was an amusing scene, but not really fascinating. I don't think films like this really need comic relief, at least not much. I preferred the Hobbits' amusing light-heartedness in the first film to the Dwarf's mutterings in this one.

So what I'm leading up to is this: I don't know why so many people are claiming that this movie is better than the first. Is it just the men, because they finally have their epic battles? The siege at Helm's Deep was amazing. What I was more impressed with was the tone of the battle, how I felt their despair so keenly. That is good movie-making, affecting the audience with emotion. Like in The Fellowship when they arrived in the Elf Forest (Lothlorien?), and everything is glowing and serene. That was an amazing couple of scenes.

I guess one of the things that I missed in this movie was that all important character from the first one: New Zealand. There were lots of beauty shots, true. Especially the beginning title sequence. But whereas the setting was so important as to be a new, underlying character in every scene, it was not so in this movie. Almost an after-thought. Editing maybe?

I think my biggest gripe is the editing. Although it was probably Peter Jackson's idea to put it together the way that it was, I thought the re-hashing of Gandalf's battle with the Balrog was... dumb. They used the SAME footage! Not even different angles! How ridiculous! With a budget like that! I would have at least just put in footage of Gandalf & the Balrog, and cut out the parts with Frodo's scream, etc. To make it more of Gandalf's point of view. Of course, they probably did it that way to make it part of Frodo's dream. But WHY do that in the first place. It is SO clich� these days (thanks soap operas!) to make anything turn out to be a dream. It didn't have to be!

Anyway, that's what was chosen, and it worked, even if it was an un-imaginative way to begin to show what happened to Gandalf next. What I thought was really lame editing was making those scenes with Aragorn and Arwen past-tense. Why didn't we know that they'd practically broken up in The Fellowship??? To show that Aragorn is open to temptation? So fucking what. He could have remembered the break up, the way that Frodo remembered Gandalf's fall.

I just thought it was annoying, because it was confusing. You have him remembering how they parted. Then you have him unconscious and having that little couch smooch session with Arwen, so is that a dream, or a memory? It was a luscious scene, the best in the film. But when coupled with the third interlude of Arwen's people, where her father confronts her and demands that she leave Middle Earth with her people, it just all seems weird. Because you don't know what's past tense, what's dream, or what's present tense. I completely hated it. No other part of the films worked that way. I love films that play with your mind like that, Memento being the pentultimate at that. But this? I just thought it was annoying as fuck and unnecessarily vague and confusing.

Add that to the fact that Galadriel sent mind-communications to stir Elrond into action, asking him to help out, and it was her henchman that led Elrond's troops to Helm's Deep, and it was like they had just given up on keeping anything to do with the Elves straight! Weird, weird, weird.

Plus, there was the disappointment of the humans. They were a pathetic lot! In The Fellowship, the scoobies boated past those amazing statues as tall as sky-scrapers. Those things, in all their magnificence, were created by the Men of Middle Earth. And one of their kings lords over a couple hundred peasants????? Husband said that there is more to come, that those lands were the poor Kingdom, and that the city where Frodo & Sam are taken that's under siege is actually just a small city in the rich Kingdom. He says that their is a grand castle/city/place in the next film. That's fine, but it doesn't help alleviate that first-impression disappointment at seeing how pathetic the humans were!

Anyway, I think I'll end the rant there. I really did like the movie. I thought it was sad not to get to see the Fellowship in action anymore, but was ready for that. It was nice to see the three warriors still so friendly with one another. And Pippin and Merry getting some balls and thinking about more than lunchette and ale. It was depressing to see Frodo turn on Sam. The movie was so dark, and it worked. The battle was fucking amazing. Gandalf and his new duds were cool. And is it just me, or is Saruman now going gray??? Hmmmmm...

OK, husband is home, I shall take my leave of you. Feel free to gripe at me in the guestbook...

later that night...

well, I am quite possibly screwed. We just went over to JP & SL's for a night of games and gift exchange. We were playing this game, Taboo, where you have to get your partner to guess a word, without saying any of 5 words also listed on the card that would make it too easy to guess if you said them. Like if "mouse" was the word, you couldn't say cat, furry, small, rat, blind, etc...

My husband's word was Diary. I was his partner. He said I do this every day online. Then he blurted out the word Strawburygrl.

I about fell through the floor in mortification. He looked as horrified as me, but then said, "Just say the word", and I realized he was right, the best thing would be to just move on. But once I said "Diary", they had all the words to clue it together.

Things going for me: it is a fast-paced game, and that was the first card, and we had 3-5 other cards to do after that during our turn. So they could have gotten distracted enough to forget about it.

Plus, I spell it weird.

Plus, they may not care.

But if they remember and they care, they could probably find it quite easily now.

At which point, I will be screwed.

The only thing I can say in my defence is that I am a crazy, paranoid person.

But that's all I'll say.

I stick with my original conviction: I will not erase or apologize or hold back in this diary for anything or anyone. These are my words. I meant them at the time I wrote them. I may or may not still mean them, but they're a part of my history, a part of who I am today, and I won't ever take back a single word.

*sigh*

We had a lovely time otherwise. I was thinking the whole time how insane I've been lately, being so paranoid and jealous. I don't know why the hell I have to be. But I am. And, unfortunately, I don't think there's anything I can do to reverse it now that my paranoid mind has tripped down that particular road. Which is really sad, because I don't have any other friends in town.

It was really nice to be with them tonight, and realize that I can put my shit aside and just be a normal person with them. But driving home, I realized I don't think I'll ever be capable of trusting Jenni the way I once did. I don't know why. I just don't think my brain can reverse the paranoid paths it's taken so far. Which fucking sucks for my mental health.

And really fucking sucks if she ever reads this diary.

That's all I can say. What happens happens. I can't change anything.

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