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#237 - dreaming of cozy
11/27/01 @ 6:25 pm

I just had the most incredible desire for winter. And to live life with joy. I'm tired of the dreary. I want the joy. I'm not quite sure how winter ties in.

So I was thinking about it, and the only time I like winter is when I have time off. I love to be outside in winter, feeling the cold. Because I'm always so hot. I don't own any sweaters that fit anymore, because I can't wear them except outdoors, and I'm not an outdoorsy girl.

But I have another perfect sensory memory. This one of Winter. Being in Bend, Oregon. Emerging from the hotel room, out into the freezing cold. Freezing to my nose and cheeks, a little cold on my legs wearing only leggings. But I'm so cozy in my sweater and coat. Cozy like when you wake up in a chilled room in the morning, and your covers are toasty warm, and all you want to do is lay there for another half hour or so, just dozing. Sweaters are mobile cozy covers! But on with the sensory memory, there's the smell of pure cold, fireplaces and crisp air. And the sound. The sound of some town clock going off to mark the hour. And the joy of knowing that my fiance is just on the other side of the door, with his family that I'm coming to adore.

And that's what I love about winter. Being outside and feeling the cold on my nose, but being all wrapped up nice and cozy in a sweater.

I wish I could repeat it. But the family can't afford an out-of-state trip, so we're going to a family friend's skiing cabin. I look forward to being with everyone, but not to the days alone. Because I refuse to try skiing again, because it was terrifying that one time I tried it out.

So instead I have to look forward to days alone reading, waiting for the family to come home to me after skiing. At which point it will be too late to go out for a walk with my beloved.

But the dogs will be there. They can keep me company when I embark on my mission to feel the chill on my nose, the cozy of my sweater, and search for evidence of snow on the slopes of the hills leading up to the mountain.

And anything's going to be better than hanging around this damn office wishing I was outside. I just hope someone gets me a pretty sweater this year, so I can get my cozy on. Hint: the Bon has these lovely ones in black and red chenille with white snowflakes on 'em.

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