Holy shit. I just had my worst work out ever. As in, it was hell. It was the first time that I have ever gone 2 days in a row. I thought I was going to die during my bike warmup. It did not help that the kind of bike I normally use was unavailable - all 10 of them! So I had to use the sit-up kind, and it HURT MY FUCKING ASS! I thought I would get used to it, but not 2 minutes in, I realize my legs feel like they want to fall off and/or explode rather than keep going. I try to do between 15-20 minutes on the bike. I did just over 8. I was so stiff and sore, I wanted to cry. I drank my water and tried to breathe and stay calm and not cry. Crying was very hard to keep from doing at various points during the work out. But I did it. I felt like an idiot pushing myself this hard, but I did it anyway. It's important that I do this. I need to go see my doctor soon. I can't have wasted the last 6 months doing nothing.

So I came home and put my workout clothes in to wash, started a lunchcicle nuking, and asked my sweetie to join me in the bedroom. Then I collapsed in the bed. He came over and we laid there for about 15 minutes, talking, him holding me. He said eventually you'll get over the hump, and you can do it every day. I hope so.

Then he told me what I knew what was coming. The company does not have any money. No more investors. They didn't meet the goal & what agreements they had to get near it flaked out. My husband has to find a new job. There is a slight chance that a company may go forward and buy their product or strike a contract for it, but they can't let them know of the financial state of the company until they decide. So until then, everyone has to get other jobs.

Here we go. At least we don't own a house. The owner does. His wife's out of the country. He may have to file for personal bankruptcy to take care of the fucking lease on their space. Bye-bye house. I had no idea.

My husband applied to 21 jobs today. I wonder what happens now. He got that contracting gig. But he won't get paid for a couple of weeks. His 401k was cancelled, so he's taking the option of getting it all now, and paying the penalty next April. That's rent for 2 months, so hallelujah.

He wants me to ask my boss about going full-time. Funny that, since we just talked about it yesterday. I was telling her about all of this, and she came up to me later and said that there isn't alot of accounting, and it would be better if I wasn't full-time, but that if I needed the hours I could. And then she asked me if I wanted to part-time as the receptionist. She's finally ready to draw the line with this punk-ass girl. *sigh* Reception again, after all these years? *shudder* I said I really didn't think I could go full-time right now.

Sweetie wants me to. I said I didn't know if I could. Plus, I need to start doing this gym thing regularly. And Lambert House. Fuck. I was going to do Lambert House, after putting it off for 3 years.

If I could find that son of a bitch that didn't pay my husband's company for running them into the ground working overtime and ignoring all other projects, I would snap his fucking neck with the inhuman strength of the furious. That fucking prick started their downward spiral. And now all of our lives are going to change. Thanks a lot, you fucking bastard.

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